Recovery and pills from anxiety

Hi to all my readers and followers, I’d like to thank you for supporting me through my dark times. I’ve got good news. Its been a hectic few couple of months trying to get help for my anxiety. Finally I’m being treated. The medication I’ve been getting so far seems to be helping. I mean I went for an engagement party this last weekend and I haven’t experienced any social anxiety symptoms. I was actually able to enjoy myself.

I feel calmer and more relaxed now. Sure there are some draw backs to the medication. Its feels like I’m high on drugs sometimes and a little sleepy at times but the doctor says it will pass after a week or two.

I would like to thank my friend zak who pushed me to get help. God knows I wanted to end my life because I felt like I had no control over my life. Some how God made a way, gave me strength and sent the right people in my life to help me. I just want to write this post to let my readers know I’m fine. Thank you for following my blog. You are appreciated. Have and awesome wednesday :)

If you have any questions about anxiety please feel free ask?

Designed my first engagement decor board for my friends engagement

This last weekend my friend she was getting engaged. She asked me to do her a favour and make her a board or decor with saying like welcome to our engagement etc. Of course I said yes its been a while since I did something like this and I thought it might be fun. She bought all the things I needed to work with.

Friday night I began making the engagement board with the help of my niece. I needed her input and help to finish things more quickly since the engagement being saturday and all. We did not rush though, me and my nice began to experiment with different colours of glitter. Mixing them together and see if we could spice things up. We mixed red and sliver. Blue and aqua. These colour combinations worked out perfect.

Its been a while since I had fun like this. I’ve taken photos for those of you who want to see the decor board I created.

An epic night to end my 30th birthday

selfie

selfie

Yesterday was a big day for me. My 30th birthday. I didn’t really have anything planned for the day but my family and friends made sure it was a special day. I had a lot of phone calls and visitors yesterday. Also a lot of BBM, whatsapp and facebook birthday wishes messages.

My mom and dad gave me a small braai for a late lunch. Surprisingly I got a few presents. Still even though it was my birthday I was kinda sad because I miss my dog ‘King’ who recently passed away. My close friends helped me out though to feel better and taking me out for supper last night.

It was a good night we over ate and talked nonsense like friends do. We ignored each other for a bit while checking bbm and facebook messages. Also the place we ate at! The waiters came and sang a happy birthday song for me and giving me a free ice cream for my birthday. Just before we could go home we had desserts and I became over full that I was so tired! , but feeling satisfied because my friends made my birthday so memorable, bring an end to an epic night.

Finally started on some antidepressants

Hey its me sorry I haven’t been blogging for a while. It seems that depression had gotten the better of me. I have seeked help. My doctor has put me on a course of antidepressants. Its only been a few days I do feel calmer. I have to go see the doctor again this week to report how im feeling. Then his gonna recommend which hospital I can go for treatment and therapy.

I like to thank ‘Sadag’ which is the depression and anxiety helpline of south africa. They talked me into getting help instead of ending my life. Yeah its been very hard with the loss of my dog lately and me turning 30 soon and have achieved not much in my life which can make you feel quite worthless.

Anyway lets see how well treatment goes for my anxiety and depression. Who knows I might be writing about my success soon.

Losing my grip on reality!

Hi its me again I know its been a while since my last blog post. Guess I had sometime to reflect on life and what’s important.

For a while now my reality has been about living to get the latest phone, go out with my friends, dream big, tvshows, movies and success.

Now that bubble of reality has burst after losing my dog ‘KING’. Its like I woke up from a bad dream to realise what is important. All this time I’ve been aiming for success never thinking something like death would happen to me.

The death of my dog ‘KING’ affected me so bad it shattered my reality. Everything I knew became a lie. Things like movies, success, a new phone just didn’t matter without my dog in my life. Now I realised that spending time with the people close to you is more important than all the money in world. You can never buy back time. I have so much regret not spending more time with my dog.

Now I’m afraid to wake up everyday. I can’t make sense of what I should do now. How long before I lose someone else. How do I make time count with the people in my life. How long before I die. How do I balance my life between the people I love and me working toward success.

The answer? I just don’t know anymore!

Good bye Hunter x hunter ! My new favorite anime

Its been a while since I started a new anime even though hunter x hunter has been around since 2011. I always seen it around but I never mustered the strength to watch another anime because I’m already following fairytail, naruto and onepiece at the moment.

So 1 month ago my Dog died and I was devastated. I was barely coping. So I decided to finally get into hunter x hunter since its an anime I know nothing about and maybe it will help keep my mind busy if I got into it. As time went on. Its 1 month now still I’m missing my dog but it hurts a little less now, because of time and watching hunter x hunter has got me addicted.

Sure it has similar aspects to naruto and onepiece but I still think hunter x hunter is better. Naruto has become more like dragonballz lately. Onepiece is still awesome. Hunter x hunter just has more hardcore villains like this latest arc I’m watching the Chimera ant arc. Better fights and strategy. There’s a lot of death and tragedy in this arc. I could go on and try to convince you but only when you watch the anime will you know how good it is.

Sadly Hunter x hunter has ended this september. Not sure why! Just my luck. I just got attached to this anime. Just like my dog died. I’m about lose something I’ve grown to love in a short time. I still got about 15 more episodes left to watch before I see the end. Its been an awesome ride. It started of slow but action packed, its funny but also dark and violent towards the end.

Thankfully there are 2 hunter x hunter movies I can watch after I finish the anime. Fingers crossed that the anime will continue again like fairytail resumed when it ended a while back.