My 1st step to getting fit and started jogging

Today I was home watching tv. Texting on my phone and realised I’m so frustrated with myself that sitting at home doing nothing was driving me mad. I’ve been exercising at home doing push ups and crunches but today I decide to take it further and train in the grounds near by my house.

So I walked to the grounds, Determined. Had my bottle of water. Finally reached the grounds and rested. So I decided to take my first lap around the grounds and God help me I wanted to quit and go home. I was so out of breathe half way during the lap because I have asthma, then I began to wheeze. Finally I finished the lap and rested. Took my asthma inhaler.

My 1st lap didn’t really go well so finally ran my 2nd lap and that was even worse than the my 1st. I couldn’t breathe properly but I managed slowly to finish the lap. So I rested again for a while. On my 3rd it felt easier for some reason like my body slightly got used to the momentum. Also mentally I was thinking about how I wanted to become stronger. Finished my 3rd lap and was feeling refreshed and tired.

I guess now! I have to train more often so that I am able to handle my breathing. On another note. I have another reason to exercise besides keeping fit. Lately I’ve hit a creative wall. My creativity isn’t flowing maybe due to stress and other factors but I read online that exercise helps with blood flow which helps with creativity. So there you have it. How I spent my day and my goals for exercising. I hope I’m not the only one that feels like this. Hope to hear from some of you going through the same thing.

30 and still single :(

Hi ladies I’m here to share my thoughts on being single. I’d also love some advice from you ladies. I’m single for many years now. I’m friendly, down to earth, easy to chat to. My major problem is I’m to shy in person. I feel like a lot of time has passed and I’m getting older by the day and would like to find someone to share my life with.

Truthful I’m also afraid of being rejected. Its also why I haven’t told many girls how I’ve felt about them. Heart break is incurable. Rejection makes you feel worthless. I have spoken to a few ladies lately but it didn’t go to well, there was no flow. We texted and the conversation went like this.

Me : Hi
Girl : Hi
Me : how you doing
Girl : K
Me, : wuup2
Girl : Ntm
Me : Really so you not doing anything, so u don’t wtv or something.
Girl : sometimes.
Me : what tvshows or series you into.
Girl : a lot

Like what the hell was is with the one word answers. Maybe I should of told her I was horny maybe she would fight with me but even that would of made for a better conversation.

Anyway the real reason I’m writing this post is I feel the clock is running out on me. My friends are getting married, and engaged and I’ll be the only one left single. Its gonna be a lonely path if I don’t catch up. Even my niece is serious with her boyfriend. Dam I got to find someone special. Why is it so hard to find love.

Anyone interested tweet me @vishal4nw or mail me at vishal4nw@gmail.com I honestly don’t mind settling for a long distance or foreign relationship right now.

Aside

Im jealous of my neighbors new puppy

just yesterday after eating supper putting my dishes in the sink. From the kitchen window I can see in my neighbors yard. I see something small and brown running around. It was a puppy. They had just gotten it. I couldn’t contain myself I went in my backyard and spoke to my neighbor asked them to show me the puppy. I played with it and my neighbor even let me borrow her to go show my mum.

It was the cutest Boerboel crossed with a Pitbull pup I ever seen. I was sad to give the pup back because I remember that excitement they are feeling, having a dog for the first time. All you want to do is play with your dog all the time.

Well to be honest I’ve been kinda lonely since my dogs passed away. Yeah I’ve thought of getting another dog but I feel like its wrong or its a betrayal to the dogs I’ve had if I get another one. Besides my dogs could never be replaced. Also I dont want to go through losing another dog it was painful enough the first two times.

Now all I can do just admire my neighbors dog with jealous lol.

Aside

God isn’t real!

Im sure many of you wouldn’t agree with me when I say! God isn’t real. Due to recent tragedies I lost my faith in God and have been looking for a reason to believe in him again. The truth be told the more I pray the worse things get. Whats worst is I dont believe but recently people I know, strong believers I know are suffering terribly.

An intercessor at our church lost her son due to suicide. Another person from my church! His wife got cancer. Where is God in all this. What good suppose to come out from all of this. When I prayed for God to save my dogs they died anyway.

The truth is im angry at God and terribly scared of the future. Im not sure what to do or what to believe anymore. Yeah I hope to believe that God is real but as off lately his done a great job convincing me he doesn’t.

I feel like an idiot sometimes praying to the fresh air. I mean people claim to have connections with God, they claim God has spoken to them, so why not speak to me when I need him.

Aside

To much celebration and death for this last weekend

Hi and welcome back from the weekend. Is been a hectic weekend for me attended a wedding function and got news of 2 deaths.1 from our church and the other is family.

To be honest I enjoyed the wedding because I feels like forever since I’ve been out and celebrated something. Then I got the news last night that a member from our church had committed suicide and hung himself. People are asking the question why? He did what he did. To be honest I can relate to him because Ive been there being suicidal but recently gotten help. Still its sad that this young man took his own life. Because I knew him as this happy guy.

So this morning we get another phone call ,someone in our family has passed away. This really sucks. Bad news after bad news.

All this death makes you think that we should appreciate life and our family. To be honest my family is so divided that only when it comes to functions or funerals that we get to see each other.

hopefully these tragedies will help bring our families closer. If only life was that simple. Still life goes on and hope to make the best of mine this 2015.

Aside

My people skills suck!

My apologies I haven’t blogged in a while. Just been going through a lot of stuff lately. Anyway last night I attended a wedding function in my road and met alot of old friends from my school days.

Its seems I didn’t have much on common with them and ran out of things to say! Its true that my communication skills sucks but those where friends I used to spend time and talk for hours with. Now I cant even go 5 minutes without running out of things to say!

Maybe I out grown them but still I feel kinda bad that I couldn’t relate to them like I used to. Well now that im back! I will be blogging more frequently. Since many of my readers and bloggers have been there for me when my dogs had passed away and I thank you for you’ll condolences. Have a great weekend everyone.

I’ve had the best dogs in the world

Hi if you been reading my blog I’m sure you read about my dogs recently passing away, today is exactly 2 weeks now that my precious dog ‘Brandy’ passed away. Today my mom tells me she had a dream about her and I burst into tears. I miss her so much and it ihas gotten any easier because 5 months ago my other dog named ‘King’ passed away. He was also brandy’s son.

I wasn’t even over kings death and now brandy is gone to. Its devastating. I’ve been keeping myself busy lately but every now and then the realisation that my dogs are gone gives me a lot of anxiety, because I long for them. I can’t imagine a life without them but that is exactly what my life is right now.

I think about suicide a lot. I mean I don’t have a girlfriend or a lot of female friends. I have close friends but they have their own lives too. All I had was my dogs. I lived for them. No one understands my loneliness. I just want to die. I don’t even know how I got through these past 2 weeks. Still it hasn’t gotten any easier.

I wish for things to go back to the way it used to be. I’ve been blessed with the best dogs in the whole world. Brandy was fat and cute and King was handsome and playful. My dogs knew me well. They always made my day. Now I’m in a state of depression and anxiety because I missed them so much. I don’t want to move on because I don’t want to forget. The pain helps me remember them. I wish people could understand.

I’m writing this post because I’m scared and not sure what to do anymore.