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My nieces engagement

Hi just want to say yesterday I got to share a special day with my niece. She had gotten engaged. We had it at my home. Despite the bad weather of rain. The celebration went on. It was an awesome event, a family treasured moment in life. I was just glad I got to share it with my niece slash family and thought I’d share it you bloggers so here some pics from yesterdays event :)

I’m not weird I have anxiety!

Hi bloggers and friends its a busy week for me with my nieces engagement this weekend. Having it at my home because of the big space. Anyway talking relationships. It comes to my attention some people think I am weird. Talking behind my back. I honestly don’t care. All I know is I’m going through a lot with my battle against anxiety and depression.

I’m 30 and single and people seem to be asking the question how come I don’t have a girl friend, or rather should I say! Probably family gossiping behind my back or so. The truth is my anxiety has progressed into social anxiety which means now I find to hard to be around new people or in public. Its often the reason why I don’t go out a lot now days and sit in my room and work from home. I hide behind social media to avoid human contact.

I know its not normal. I am on medication but it only helps calm me down and not adapt to real life situations. On the other hand if I don’t take my medication I want to kill myself.

Well welcome to the story of my life. Anxiety is real. You can’t pray it away but you can pray for the strength to face it everyday. I am slowly getting better through the help of God and medication but its a daily battle with sometimes a few set backs.

No time to blog! Work keeping me busy

Hi friends and bloggers. I know its been a while. I just want to say surprisingly life is good. I’ve been keeping busy with a lot of graphic design work coming my way lately and I’m grateful for the opportunities. Also finally now that I’m working more I could afford buying a new phone. I had a old alcatel pixi 1 with the android gingerbread os but now bought the alcatel pixi 2 with android jelly bean :) .

I’ve been through a lot in the last month. I honestly can say I’ve grown in a positive way. Sure I had some ups and downs with my design client but I somehow managed to pull through and meet my clients needs. It feels good to feel like I have a purpose. A reason to get out of bed in the morning.

Sure I’m dealing with my anxiety and depression issues still, but keeping busy helps not have time to be afraid or depressed I guess. Especially when you doing work that you love to do. I have been blessed in this month I thank God.

Well I’m glad I finally found some time to write a blog post. Finally free for the weekend no work. So gonna spend the weekend relaxing and catching up on tvshows and anime. Hope all of you have an awesome weekend too.

Finally achieved my client design goal

Hi followers, and friends. Hope you weekend is treating you better than its treating me. For me this weekend was about finishing a book cover design for a client. I’m happy to say I finally achieved that today thank God. It was easy but I was motivated. So much so that I was in the zone and managed to design 3 beautiful but elegant book covers.

I was friday night when I started. I wasn’t sure if I could get it done. Saturday came and I reminded myself why I need to do this and succeed. This is the 1st time I’ve challenged myself in a long time. I happy to say its been a long time since I felt alive like this.

Today was a win for me and I am grateful to God for giving me creative ability that help me achieve my clients goal. Also my friend Zak helped a lot more than he knows. He inspired me that I could do it even when I doubt that I could.

Anyway just had to blog my today progress. Have an awesome weekend.

Anxiety, graphic design and a difficult client

Its been about 2 weeks now that my friend organised me an opportunity to do some design work. The client wants a book cover designed. I’ve have a lot of failed attempts in pleasing this client, because I’m not really sure what he wants. Last week I designed a cover exactly how he wanted with the help of my friend Zak khan. He did like it then but changed his mind this week.

I need to wrap up this job by this weekend. I just met with my friend Zak earlier today to discuss design ideas. I believe we made progress. We always seem to be a good creative team. Now that I am home the lights are off because of load shedding which is something common here in south africa now days. So about 2 hours I’ll have to wait before the lights come on.

Waiting and waiting I’ve been building up anxiety. Feeling very anxious because I’m in the mode to design and I can’t wait anymore but I can’t do a thing till the lights come on. I had to take my anxiety meds because I began to breathe heavily and panic a little. Anyway I have my reasons for why I need to get this job done soon. I’m sure my friend Zak knows why to :) I’d also like to thank my friend Zak for this opportunity.

Wish me luck and everyone have a great weekend :)

Working outside of my comfort zone

Yesterday for me was strangely an successful day. I had a graphic design job but the thing is I had to work at the clients office instead of my home. Its uncomfortable for me to work outside my home because of the pressure of getting the job done in a short time span. Cause when I usually work from home I can pull all nighters making sure its done right. Also I have anxiety which makes it even harder to work in an environment like that.

Thank God for his favour and I was glad that my friend Zak khan was there to help me. It turns out we make a good creative team. We manage to pull of a design I don’t normally do. A sketch telling a story in a poster cover. It was hard to meet the clients demands but we some how did it in the end. Normally that kind of work was impossible for me to do. Guess knowing that my friend is having back gave me the confidence I need to pull the job off. In the end our hard work paid off and I feel a little more confident and good about myself.

Today 14 years ago I receive my 1st dog ‘Brandy’

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Today for many they celebrate youth day but for me its something more special. Its the day received a little pup in a small cardboard box. She wasn’t healthy and had a terrible skin condition. We took her to vet got some meds and she was looking better in no time.
Her hair grew back and couldn’t even tell she was sick. We decided to name her ‘Brandy’.

We all loved her, my mom, sister, niece, brother, father and myself. She was the 1st thing I’d look for when I woke up each day. I remember how mischief she was biting my shoes. She was really spoilt also. Instead of eating dog food chunks, my mom always cooked for her like a stew with bones and stuff.

She loved walks. Also she loves sweet things like cake and ice cream but I gave only now and then so she didn’t get worms. I always did my best to spoil her. 12 years ago she gave birth to a set of 13 pups. 4 died and 9 pups survived. We gave 8 pups and kept 1. Her son which we named him *King*.

Brandy grew up to be a health loved dog. Today would of been her birthday if she was still alive. She passed away this year january 24 2015. My heart breaks. I miss her so much. The last 3 nights before she died I was up with her all night. I was anxious, stressed seeing in so much pain I couldn’t do anything about it. My Vet said she is old and there is nothing more they can do.

January 23 2015 she took a turn for the worst. I had no choice but we decided we should put her down but its seems everywhere was closed. So that night I stayed up as much as I could. I couldn’t bare to watch her suffer. We was gonna take her to spca the next day to put her down but she had already passed away the next morning.

It was like my heart died with her that morning. Today would of been her birthday. I wish so badly that she could be here with me. All I can do is remember and cherish the memories I had with her. Even in death I worry about her. Where she is. How is she doing. I still feel that sense of responsibility cause I loved her so much.

Just want to say happy birthday my Brandy where ever you are I hope you are well. Your family loves you and misses you.