I’ve had the best dogs in the world

Hi if you been reading my blog I’m sure you read about my dogs recently passing away, today is exactly 2 weeks now that my precious dog ‘Brandy’ passed away. Today my mom tells me she had a dream about her and I burst into tears. I miss her so much and it ihas gotten any easier because 5 months ago my other dog named ‘King’ passed away. He was also brandy’s son.

I wasn’t even over kings death and now brandy is gone to. Its devastating. I’ve been keeping myself busy lately but every now and then the realisation that my dogs are gone gives me a lot of anxiety, because I long for them. I can’t imagine a life without them but that is exactly what my life is right now.

I think about suicide a lot. I mean I don’t have a girlfriend or a lot of female friends. I have close friends but they have their own lives too. All I had was my dogs. I lived for them. No one understands my loneliness. I just want to die. I don’t even know how I got through these past 2 weeks. Still it hasn’t gotten any easier.

I wish for things to go back to the way it used to be. I’ve been blessed with the best dogs in the whole world. Brandy was fat and cute and King was handsome and playful. My dogs knew me well. They always made my day. Now I’m in a state of depression and anxiety because I missed them so much. I don’t want to move on because I don’t want to forget. The pain helps me remember them. I wish people could understand.

I’m writing this post because I’m scared and not sure what to do anymore.

Rip brandy my dog you are loved :(

Yesday was sad day for me because my dog brandy has past away in the morning. Im sorry it took me so long to write this post Im just hurting. Missing her. I just want to honour her with this gallery. So I will never lose these photos. Brandy death was harder than her son “king” who passed away also 5 months ago. With brandy gone I dont know how im gonna live. Im alone now. Both my dogs are gone. Brandy was my life. With her gone I dont know what im gonna do. Its been a hard day so far. To many tears where shed by me and my family. Brandy I hope u happy where u gone to now. It was you who made me happy and not me making u happy. Remember I will always love you.

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Wish my dog would live forever

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This has been a stressful week for me because my dog ‘Brandy’ is very sick. Not to long ago ,last year august 2014 I lost my other dog ‘king’ which was ‘Brandy’s’ son. King’s death broke me and drove me to take antidepressants.

Now im so stressed because we took Brandy to the vet and they gave her meds and she still not eating and was spewing. Im scared that the meds might not be working. I cant deal with the loss of yet another dog. Im scare. Sad. Wishing, hoping and praying she will get better.

My dogs has made my life so much better, when I was lonely and friends where busy I always had my dogs. But I am praying she gets better but if things turn for the worst I pray God will take her peacefully and not let her suffer.

What can I do but pray now! I love her. Only a real pet lover would understand this. I had to write down how I feel because this is eating me inside.

#Thewalkingdead or #Nationz

Lately I’ve been in a conflict because I’ve been putting off watching nationZ. I’m a huge fan of The walking dead and didn’t wanna get into another series about zombies. Unfortunately I wasn’t left with a choice since my friends insisted I watch nationZ.

So guess what? I watched nationZ! Ok sure it has its good qualities but more bad ones. I mean there are a lot of aspects that NationZ copies from The walking dead. Also the cannibals in NationZ! Their acting is so fake and so is that guy commentating about the zombie apocalypse. Remember in The walking dead #terminus how hardcore the cannibals where!

Also the so called cure in nation Z is stupid if the guy himself is slowing turning into a human zombie, that can’t really be a cure. I mean that guy murphy.

The walking dead is awesome but I’m kinda getting tired of the so called surviving episodes over and over. People die, people getting sick, getting food slash supplies and finding a safe place in every season. I want to see more of what happen to the government or maybe something more about the origins of the zombie virus like in the end of season 1. That was interesting. Even season 3 with the governor! That was an awesome arc.

Still walking dead is far better than Nationz hands down. Just my opinion guys if you are nation Z fans.

Im entering 2015 as an entrepreneur

Hi I know its been a while since I’ve blogged. I can explain! I’ve recently been busy with a business I’ve started with my close friend ‘Zak’. Im all new to this entrepreneur world but I’m loving what I do. For years as a graphic designer I had no purpose but now I do! I design books for kids.

In the past I’ve been living in the shadow of helping another friend’s with his dream! Whose name i will not mention, while I took a back seat to my own life helping him. Now that I’ve broken away from him I have found my own path which was painful but worth it in the end.

So far as an entrepreneur I’ve designed 2 books for amazon kindle. I dont handle the technical parts of the books, my business partner ‘zak’ takes care of all the marketing and writing of the books. I just design them.
So far we had some small successes with our books and I know its gonna get bigger because we love what we do.

Sure it isn’t always easy to wake up each morning motivated but if you love doing something you do it despite how you feel or even if people may discourage you. Its worth doing.

I’ve found my dream, my purpose and what I want to do with my life. I read books to stay motivated and learn from other peoples successes. I listen to pat flynn podcasts. Im always learning and thats what I think what being a entrepreneur is all about.

I hope by reading my blog post you will realize your dreams as well. Life is to short to live any other way.

2014 highlights and 2015 thoughts

Twenty fourteen what a year. Im sure many of you would agree. If you been reading my blog you know my story. I suffered a loss of my dog ‘King’. Finally got help for my anxiety towards end of this year. Distanced myself from people who have had a negative impact on my life. Started a kids book company towards the end of this year also.

That pretty much sums up my 2014 year. Its been both good and bad but i suffered my greatest loss, losing my dog.

As for 2015 id love to work full time from home as an entrepreneur. It is my goal and my dream to work for myself. Hopefully my kids book company will take off this coming 2015.

Guess this new years eve I wont be making any new years resolutions. Besides no one really keeps them. Im just gonna work hard, pray, and believe 2015 is gonna be my year of success.

New Neighbors

Today my neighbors are moving out. I know this should’nt effect me but it does. We lived with them for about 13 years. Now new neighbors have just moved in! Today! Who are practically strangers. Are they good people? Are they psycholopaths! I hope not.

I hate to say this but I miss my old neighbors. Only now that they gone I realize how much like family neighbors really are. When they would go on holiday they would trust me to feed thier dogs.

Guess we all have to adjust to change. Its part of life. As for my new neighbors not sure if il ever have the same relationship with my new neighbors like I did with my old ones.

I am also kinda of disappointed because it would at least been nice if my new neighbors had hot daughters, but they dont! That said life goes on. Just have to accept having new neighbors and make my peace with it.