Is it time to think about marriage?

Standard

Hey its me again and yesterday I had an interesting conversation with my co-worker. She mentioned something about marriage and that I shouldn’t wait to long. Because our parents won’t be around forever. Surprisingly what she said kinda woke me up to reality that I’ve been ignoring for to long.

The thought of not having my parents around is something I could never imagine. It made me think! The problem is, I like being single and so set in those ways. Also focusing only on my work right now. Still what she said really got to me. I mean I’m 31 and going to be 32 in November. So I am getting old. Who would take care of me if my parents weren’t around? I mean I don’t want to be a burden to my sister and my brothers well they don’t even visit these days. So should I start looking for a wife? Where do I start. Will I? make a good husband.

I haven’t dated in a while not seriously anyway. Where do I start finding someone that interests me and doing the same for them. Just feels like I have become more responsible these days and that’s so not me. I’m so used to my parents making all those decisions. So life is feeling a lot more real to me these days and that’s scary.

Pay day? cha-ching

Standard

I don’t know why but this last month it felt like forever before I got paid. I was off last week friday or I would off got paid then. Finally today was the day. So I made sure an hour before I finished work I reminded my manager that she has to pay me cause she often forgets she said ok when I finish work today I’d get paid.

So 10 minutes before getting ready to go home she comes of gives me an envelope and pays me in cash. As soon as my manager left I open the envelope only to notice that half my pay was there. It was a shocker! I hate complaining but when it comes to work and money I’m serious. So I told her this is the story and she’s like! ‘I know what happened I have to check the books’. I made sure she sorted it out before I left. Its kinda a pain in the ass when you have to ask for your money at work but what’s worse is when they make a mistake with how much they owe you.

Well I finally did get paid but can’t really celebrate that I’d be broke soon. Spending money on data, junk food, hope catch a movie on cinema which I’ve been wanting to do for a while. Also wanna spoil myself a little but sometimes we need to save. Dammit why is this so had making important decisions. I hate being an adult, being responsible is over rated.

I’m only human?

Standard

Hey guys! I know its been a while. I’ve been sick with the flu. Stressing about work and frustrated with my dreams. After I got better from the flu a few days ago I began working on improving my design skills and I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself because I’m not improving overnight. This frustration is keeping me up at night. Also the moment I want to do something I feel uncomfortable and unable to find myself doing any task. I’m just there procrastinating.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not giving up but the process of getting better as a graphic design is harder than I imagined. Honestly how many times this week my mind tells me I can’t do this, no way I can design that. Its a constant mental battle day in and out.

Sometimes I find myself just wanting to go to bed early and waking up to the next day hoping that I’ve improved but when I go to bed I can’t sleep. All this stress is processing through my mind. Also with all the stress I’m having issues remembering stuff.

Sometimes I look at other people and get jealous that they can do things so easily, weather a job, studying. It comes natural to them. While I have to work 3 times as hard to barely reach their level. In my mind I just hate those bastards I’d say! But its just me being human! I know its no excuse.

I need to vent this! My struggle so people can relate. We only human right, we all go through things. This is just my situation. I love graphic design and I’ll keep at it but sometimes its just frustrating not getting the results you want as soon as you want it.

Finding the right path for me!

Standard

Hey everyone its me! Been sick with the flu for the last 2 weeks. That sucked but… Gave me time to think about what I really want in life. To be honest I wasn’t really sure what that was. All I know I want to be a graphic designer which I am, but wasn’t sure what was the possibilities of a graphic designer?

When I tell people I’m a graphic designer they always so negative. They say things like they are so many better graphic designers etc blah blah blah and how it won’t work. So I decided to go on youtube and look at videos of : ‘In the day of a graphic designer’. Guess what! I found what I was looking for. The possibilities:) Dam I wanted that life. I’ve finally found the life I want to work towards.

So this video I found on youtube that inspired me was about a guy who eventually quit his job to go full time into freelance graphic design. His story inspired me. He didn’t care about the odds. He did what he loved and worked hard at it. He also shared tips and advices that inspired me to want to become a better graphic designer in terms of qualities of work.

So I finally figured out the type of graphic designer I want to be. Which I will share later on another post . Also thinking of starting a design blog so people get real life insight of a freelance graphic designer.

Ok I’ll end with this! I want to challenge you to find out what it is you want in life. Comment? Mail me. Hell facebook me If you must I want to know what you up to my readers:)

Thank you for your support :)

Standard

Hi its me again and I have to say I am so grateful for the support I’ve been getting, from my followers, facebook etc. I never knew that I would get so much online support for my Anxiety/ADHD. Recently I’ve got a message on facebook. I don’t even know how she found my blog but she was kind enough to offer her time if I ever need someone to talk to about what I’ve been going through. Plus a friend on whatsapp and comments from you guys on my blog.

You encourage me and I hope I can do the same when I turn my life around become successful and beat this thing. You know today I was feeling depressed, lacking motivation and went through my blog and messages and was reminded to be positive and it cheered me up. Knowing I’m not alone anymore.

So I know this post was short but I needed to thank my supporters. You guys are amazing and I’ll still keep blogging even if it where 1 person reading my blog. I’d do it for them. Have a great day an awesome weekend to follow.

I have ADHD? I feel stupid…

Standard

Yesterday morning you won’t believe the mental break down I had! Why? ADHD happen! Been having trouble sleeping and my job as a graphic designer is stressing me out. My mind won’t work, can’t think of ideas, its like my brain is blank and I’m slow to learn anything. I feel rather dumb at times.

Yes its embarrassing for me to say that but I’m struggling to the point I want to give up on life! Because If I can’t do anything and my brain
can’t think. How am I suppose to live. I’m always anxious. Anxiety is killing me to. How does one live with this. I’m an emotional wreck. I had to write this and get it off my chest. We hide the truth so often about ourselves. Sometimes people need to know how hard it is to live with ADHD. We are not stupid. Just challenged.

Yesterday when I wrote more or less what I’ve said here on an ADHD facebook page. Therese Whitton is someone who comment and really inspired me by what she said her words I’d never forget. I made me want to believe myself

I quote and she said : I’m a graphic designer too and I know the feeling! At my previous job I was the only designer without a degree, and I was still learning every day. Constant anxiety and
depression spirals, crying in the bathroom, insomnia, snapped at coworkers, got reprimanded for facebooking…

it was a nightmare. Looking back I learnt a LOT during those few hellish years… an additional
programming language, getting comfortable with indesign and illustrator, how to delegate,
working in a team, and so much more. Each day of struggle and steep learning curves are going
to pay off a lot if you keep at it!

I ALWAYS felt like my mind was blank, but here’s the secret to design: no-one is completely original, EVERYONE gets ideas from
other people. Google examples, google design blogs, doodle on paper first, experiment.
Create a document with styles and colours thrown on just to test a look and feel (a style). Create mockups to test what the final product will look like. I now work freelance and so does my sister. She’s three years younger than me, and I’m still learning things from her. She has worked in more agency environments, somehow I always end up working for car parts companies!

You’ll be fine! The job stress can be SO tough, but you will grow more comfortable in time, always try to find an exciting angle, try to find the fun side…
Hope this helps a little.

After reading this I cried, not ever has anyone understood what I’m going through but Therese Whitton did. I was so blessed when she shared her advice. It gave me hope again.

Attended my 1st entrepreneur conference #startupgrind Durban

Standard

Hi guys just want to say last night was the most epic night of my life. Why you ask? Because for the first time in my life I attended an entrepreneur convention. You won’t believe it but just the day before this event I got an email about this conference.  I wasn’t sure if it was for real or not but I knew I had to attend and booked my ticket right away.

So i arrived half hour earlier before everything started.  As I went in I noticed a lot of people around my age.  Some younger and older.  They all here looking to learn and grow their skills or business.  Never have I been in a room with so much positive energy.

So before the conference started I got to mingle and connect with like minded people in different fields.  The guy I met was a debt collector,  then a lawyer and other people with so many PhD’s.  It was quite overwhelming!  Because I’m only a graphic designer.  This beautiful women sitting across me asks me why so nervous.  I told that I’m overwhelmed being here with so many incredible people.  She told that I was an introvert.  We did talk more after the conference.  Also met women for Zimbabwe.  She to was very beautiful.  We chatted and talked about how we wanted to learn and improve ourselves and encouraging one another while having snacks that they sponsored.

Finally the conference started.  I’m anxious but excited.  So this speaker’s story really did inspire me because she used the Uber concept and applied to domestic workers.  Creating employment and at the same time making money.  I guess key point I learnt from the conference was good customer service is the key no matter what business.  People will want to use your service simply because they like how you take care of their needs.  I mean who can’t say no to that.

Finally the conference ended and I went to shake hands with the speaker and host to let them know what a great time I had and that I learnt something to apply in my own life.

Once again after the conference they gave desserts and giving people another chance to mingle.  I ate something chocolaty,  it was Devine. Then I spoke to girl whose a dentist and just needed some motivation and came to this conference for that very thing.  Positive energy vibed all across the room.  I honestly didn’t want to leave.  It was an opportunity of a lifetime for me.  Never have I networked like this before.  I also had the opportunity to give out a few of my business cards.

So finally got home tired and satisfied.  Feeling good about myself.  Came in my room Laying on my bed logged onto Facebook and the pretty girl from Zimbabwe invites me to be friends. We chatted a bit about how great the experience was and said that we should keep in touch.

Just thought I’d share my epic experience with my blog family.  Also changed the theme of my blog.  It’s time for some changes I guess.  Anyway thanks for reading and if you was at #startupgrind Durban Google for entrepreneurs conference last night and reading this.  Comment,  email,  tweet me.  Love to connect with you.

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image