Not really my day off!

One of the few pleasures of being off on a week day is waking up late. Unfortunately that didn’t work out. I kind of had to look after my neighbours dog for a while in the morning not that I mind but today is exceptionally hot.

Still I have my own studies. I’m trying to improve as a graphic designer. Its seem print graphic design and digital are different worlds. I worked as a digital graphic designer like for ever and print is proving to be quite a challenge.

Also today wasn’t exactly my day off by choice. Work politics you can say but I do go back tomorrow.  You can say I miss being in the aircon when I’m at work because these days its ridiculously hot. Also miss my co-workers. I didn’t expect to get as close to them as I did. Because I’m social awkward or social anxiety issues you can say!

I’m glad I’m off today because I haven’t had the time to blog. As for the rest of my day I need to download the flash tvshow and catch up on empire season 2. See you when I see you my awesome readers :)

Anxiety and depression comes back

Hi have you ever felt, when will this phase of our lives is gonna end.  My anxiety and depression got triggered recently and I don’t know why.  I couldn’t barely work or focus.  I want to stay in bed all the time.  Feeling extremely tired and lazy.

I honestly felt like committing suicide recently.  These feelings of what’s the point of living.  Because I don’t even know why I’m waking up in the morning.  A girl I went on a date with.  Pointed out that I lacked emotion.  She was right.  Its seems I’m having a hard time opening up and letting myself feel.  Guess after my dogs died.  I was so heart broken.  I closed my heart off subconsciously so i wouldn’t feel that way again.

Life is short I don’t want anxiety or depression to rob me of anymore time I have with everyone in my life. It’s true I’m scared of being left alone in this world.  Lately people have been dying and our family is getting smaller.  My parents getting older.  Guess thinking about these things makes me panic.  I maybe 31 but I’m a kid at heart I need my family.

I don’t know what to do but get high on antidepressants just so I can get through each day.

Back to work tomorrow and I wish you a happy new year

Hi and a happy new year.  This is my 1st post this 2016. Sure I been missed to blog but I was on holiday.  We all need that time off to recharge.  Especially if you had a challenging 2015 with tragedy and loss.  So far my holiday has been great spending it with family and close friends.

Yesterday my friends and I went to the animal farm and beach because it was my friends birthday.  I went on a few dates this holiday to.

After enjoying myself last December and this January I’m still in holiday mode and I just got a message today saying I must come in work tomorrow.  My mindset isn’t quite there yet.  It’s rather lazy at the moment.  Not sure if il be ready for a hard days work just yet.

Maybe it’s about time I get back into work mode after all I have big goals for this year.  It certainly has been an interesting new years hope 2016 is gonna be an awesome year for me and you to of course.  I think I need to reestablish a relationship with God to.  Can’t do anything without almighty.  Anyway love you readers for reading and contributing to my life.  After all you inspire me to wanna blog.

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It isn’t Christmas with out the grinch

Hi merry Christmas I know I’m kinda late wishing you my blogging family.  We’ll as my title says it isn’t Christmas with out a grinch trying to steal Christmas or ruin it.  In this chase my sister in law.

When it comes to birthdays,  celebrations or Christmas she always makes problems for my family.  She doesn’t even send my nieces to visit.  She really does hate us. I don’t really want to get into the details of what happened on Christmas but I am disheartened to see how my sister in law treats my brother so badly.  Sure he has his faults but what she’s doing is just plain evil.

When my sister in law makes problems she always phone my home and swears who ever answers the phone.  My brother can’t even visit us without her causing a scene. All I can say the grinch did steal Christmas for my family this year :(

I got an offer for sex! Wtf

Hi guess I can finally write about something interesting that happen in my life.  If you read my last post you would know I recently connected with a girl from my class in high school.  Its been 13 years since seeing each other.

We only met at least 2 times in person.  I honestly don’t know what I did to leave such an impression that she likes me so much.  So I been honest with her from the start that I just wanna be friends.  But every night since then she tells me how she feels an that she likes me.  Once again I been honest with her.  Still she ignores what I have to say.

Last night for me was the most craziest part.  But before we go to there. I’ve been nice with her but it didn’t work so i decided maybe I can turn her off by talking about sex but instead she offers me sex.  Even after I told her I couldn’t ask that of her. Then I asked her won’t you feel used if I had sex and leave you.  She said no!  We would still be friends.  I told her no still because I ‘m not that kind of person.  She told me before I went to sleep that the offer still stands I want to have sex with her.  Like wtf!!! I’m thinking in my mind.

I honestly don’t know what to do in situation.  I just can’t fuck a girl that I’m not attracted to both physically and personality wise if I’m not used to them or love them.  Any advice?  Anyone!

OMG! She asked me out

This past saturday i went out with my friends for supper.  As we was chatting at mc donalds we spoke about, if we met anyone from our school days. My friend oyeshan said he had one of our class girls on whatsapp and sent her my number. She wasn’t sure who I was until she saw my profile pic.  We chatted on whatsapp till late that night.  Catching up.

Sunday we spent the day chatting a lot.  Sunday night is when she drop a bomb shell on me.  She said ‘ You also seem nice would you want date me for fun, nothing serious just as companion to go out with for fun :)’.

I was speechless but I did kinda agree to her terms.  The next day I ask for advice from a female co work about what i l should do.  Guess going out is great with a girl but I’d like to kiss and cuddle but that’s off the table since we going out as friend’s.  So I don’t know weather or not to pursue her because i don’t want to hurt her or be hurt.  I guess we should be friends instead of dating as friends.