Taughts of suicide hooked me

Where do I start with my life going so crazy. Firstly I got fired from my job that I’ve gotten in 2 years. Also learnt that I don’t believe in myself so why so I let others believe in me. Nothing I do works and I just make more and more mistakes. I’m not the smarts of people but I get technology naturally. This entire week I’ve been going through excessive depression and today I got pushed and snap. I wanted to kill myself.

These taught’s of suicide been creeping into my head and telling me that I’m not worth it and that I will never amount to anything. I’m starting to believe what people have been thinking and speaking about me for years. Its true I’m clumsy and a failure but I taught there was hope.

My anxiety spiked up like hell today due to an indecent giving me terrible headaches, felling weak and terrible asthma attacks. After I calmed down I tried to kill myself with what pills I could find. I realised people don’t care enough to listen to me but always telling me what to do. So I gathered all the tablets I could find to over dose myself so I could die but unfortunately life its so cruel it wouldn’t let me die it just made me really sick instead.

Well I guess I gotta stick life till this tuesday because I have a meeting that will decide my future and weather lives worth living. When you need people to believe in you there’s no around I’m sorry to say that. I love my family and friends but there can’t be there for you and solve your problems. I even failed in a suicide attempted how lame is that. There will be other times unless I can find hope again.


2 thoughts on “Taughts of suicide hooked me

  1. Sometimes Life seems unfair or doesn’t worth living esp if u don’t believe in urself or don’t have enough self-confidence but u gotta keep trying ,we were giving this life for a reason and to waste it or End it ,is a crime!!
    I suffered from suicidal thoughts be4 as well ,so i know this terrible feeling.Life is so full of ups and downs ,and in a moment we could forget all the good and just focus on what’s going wrong but don’t let the negative thoughts win over or control u! when we r depressed ,we think of hurting ourselves or others ,so seek help and try not to follow any suicidal thoughts that come suddenly into ur mind ,distract urself and take deep breaths .Hope that helps!
    Btw pray to God ,whatever ur religion is ,our spiritual connection with the divine power is our only Salvation so pray ,have faith and hope.

    1. Hi thanks for your comment and encouragement. This so lost right now in life and not sure what to do. As for faith since things was getting so bad I stopped praying and believing. Life is so unfair and think sometimes it would be easier if I was dead. I wanted to inspire people with my life but instead I’m depressing people. I just wish I could change everything and finally see something good happen in my life. I will try as long as I am a live because I want to progress in life so thank you for caring and commenting once again. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s