Where do I start with my life going so crazy. Firstly I got fired from my job that I’ve gotten in 2 years. Also learnt that I don’t believe in myself so why so I let others believe in me. Nothing I do works and I just make more and more mistakes. I’m not the smarts of people but I get technology naturally. This entire week I’ve been going through excessive depression and today I got pushed and snap. I wanted to kill myself.
These taught’s of suicide been creeping into my head and telling me that I’m not worth it and that I will never amount to anything. I’m starting to believe what people have been thinking and speaking about me for years. Its true I’m clumsy and a failure but I taught there was hope.
My anxiety spiked up like hell today due to an indecent giving me terrible headaches, felling weak and terrible asthma attacks. After I calmed down I tried to kill myself with what pills I could find. I realised people don’t care enough to listen to me but always telling me what to do. So I gathered all the tablets I could find to over dose myself so I could die but unfortunately life its so cruel it wouldn’t let me die it just made me really sick instead.
Well I guess I gotta stick life till this tuesday because I have a meeting that will decide my future and weather lives worth living. When you need people to believe in you there’s no around I’m sorry to say that. I love my family and friends but there can’t be there for you and solve your problems. I even failed in a suicide attempted how lame is that. There will be other times unless I can find hope again.