Do you ever like every day its a struggle. Practically hate your circumstances. Wish you had a better job, wish you was better looking, more talented or just something to make your life feel a lot better. I feel like that every day. Sadly I hate my life. I have no motivation to push me forward. Feels like I screwed up my last graphic design freelance opportunity.
Finding motivation to go on is hard. Sure I have some motivational sessions with my friend ‘Zak’. But what happens when I get home, I’m alone! No one but myself I have to rely on. Its scary. I’ve never been responsible. Pay the bills or going to work because I’m unemployed for so long. Also I stay with my parents.
I’m gonna be 30 soon in november and I’m overwhelmed because I’m having a hard time transitioning into an adult. I’m the guy who likes to sit and watch series, movies and anime. There was a time in my early twenties where I was ready to face life. Dream big. Until I got knocked down. Guess I haven’t really been able to recover since then. So I’ve been having issue with low self esteem, which led to me having anxiety and panic attacks which makes it hard for me to work or stay in a job.
All I know is! Despite my problems I need to become self motivated. I need to face life. Build my confidence and move forward or I am going to remain in the same place I’ve been in the last 4 years.
Well I’m writing this post because I want to push myself. Motivate myself and believe in myself again. Still I can’t shake this feeling of intimidation and unworthiness. I feel like I’m not good enough. No matter how hard I try! I screw up.
I don’t know how to motivate myself anymore but if there’s a way I will find it. All I want is a better life. To help my parents. Take my friends out for a movie and lunch. Motivate others with my success. Give hope to the hopeless. I want to do all this and more but how can I motivate others when I cannot even motivate myself?