I’ve been struggling

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Hi it’s your friendly neighborhood blogger spiderman just kidding. I know I haven’t been consistent lately with my blog Posts.  There’s a reason.  If you read my blog or stumbled upon it you will know I have an anxiety disorder. There are days I don’t want to get out of bed.  It’s takes a lot of effort to do the simplest of things like go outside,  take a walk,  visit a friend.  It feels uncomfortable to leave my room.  Even when my mom would clean my room I would get so angry because I just wanna go lay down on my bed and do nothing but think,  worry and over analyze things.

Been thinking of suicide lately,  that it is easier to skip the hard parts of my life where I wouldn’t have to deal with an anxiety life. I’m going for therapy but it’s to low progress if you ask me.  I’m impatient now.  I want a better life now. I want to be confident now. I want to be a talented, creative and successful graphic designer now.

I’ve been asking myself today why did I have to be born this way.  Why did God make me so weak. I just don’t understand.  Lately I just don’t care about things I loved like success,  social networking, girls, friends, family. It’s like I’m emotionally numb.  Guess being isolated in my room doesn’t make it any easier.

My Psychologist says I’m making progress but I don’t feel like it and he said things will get worst before they get better because my mind is used to being in a certain way and now I’m trying to change that.  So it’s putting up a fight that’s why I’m in the state I am right now.

Anyway I thought I’d just share something to prove I’m still alive.  Lol i know I suck at jokes.  If you reading this advice is welcome please thank you.

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2 thoughts on “I’ve been struggling

  1. Hi buddy.thx for reaching out. Thoughts of suicide are not good so I suggest contacting LIFELINE or similar if you are feeling that way. May I suggest two things and please try it out I am 100% sure this will help.EXERCISE and I don’t mean just a walk…vigorous running to stir up a sweat and get your heart rate pumping.
    Also today our guid officer suggested eating more fruit veg and organic, fermented food such as yoghurt as your gut influences your serotonin levels. Serotonin is the feel good chemical that raises your happiness.
    Please try this but contact lifeline if you feel suicidal.

    • Thanks my friend for listening and taking time to reply to me. Means alot. Guess lately im angry cause I’m going no where in my life thanks to my anxiety. I’m just fed up with life. Don’t worry won’t kill my self but i might just be in a depression state sleep and do nothing for a while a small pity party you can say.

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