It’s weird feeling afraid and scared for no reason. Sometimes when I don’t get stuff done at home and if my mom or dad shouts at me about it. Then I spend so much time zoned out thinking about what my parents think of me. That I’m useless, a loser or even a burden. It’s hard to even say if it’s true, because my anxiety stretches the facts and it’s hard to tell truth from lies with an anxiety disorder.
Feeling are just misleading. Sometimes I just feel like my parents are angry at me for not working or even for having an anxiety disorder. These feeling then turn to feeling of hatred to myself. Then thoughts of suicide begin to creep in. Then you wish where dead. These feelings of anxiety is overwhelming me. Also because I don’t have my meds this month that I’m feeling so depressed and more overwhelmed than usual. Apparently the nurse at the clinic messed up my order for my medication and have to wait another month for it.