To be happy then not!

To be happy then not!

Hi its been a while it’s hard for me to be consistent to write blog posts and consistency is key for me to overcome my mental health disorder. I’ve been quite happy for a while then something usually comes and kills that joy. I’m sure many of you may of experienced that. Like yesterday there was an issue with my brother. His being controlled by his wife and not allowed to visit our family. His wife always causes a fight just usually before Christmas or one of our birthdays and today is my mom’s. Yesterday I was so upset because my brother hurt my mom and dad. It really upsetted me. Almost had a panic attack. Had to practice my breathing exercises to Calm myself down. In that moment I remembered something my therapist said. He said no point worrying about something you have no control over. The only thing you really do have control over is your actions.

I was gonna write a nasty post about my sis in law, about how evil she can be but I decided not to because I don’t wanna be like her. Even though I have no control over my brothers actions. It does worry me that he doesn’t visit us. Cause I don’t have much family. Most of them aren’t alive anymore. Only have 1 aunt an like 5 cousins which I hardly see. So yeah family for me is important. Cause it’s all you have left in the world that matters not money.

So after this upset it seems I deviated from my therapy advice and steps because my emotions took over. I think I need to put energy now into networking and connecting with the right people in life, building a better relationship with God. Also building my own confidence and making myself a successful graphic designer.

Also again its my mom’s birthday and want it to be special and not for anyone to spoil it. So looking forward to some birthday cake and sweet treats and just celebrating what is important. I know how much my mom and dad have done for me despite my conditions. So today I gonna choose to be happy.

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