My Ideal life :)

Today I was reading a post from a blog I follow. The post mentioned what is the ideal life you want to live! The truth is! I’ve been so caught up in my own world of ‘anxiety and depression’ that I stopped thinking about the life I wanted!

So I took sometime to think about it and it wasn’t to hard to figure out. The life I want is to be a creative graphic designer. Meeting clients at coffee shops. Going to fancy offices having brain storming ideas with other creatives. Working out of a coffee shop with a laptop at times. Just having freedom of a life as graphic designer.

Yes there are ways of making money with graphic design online with stock graphics. For now I’ll do it cause I need the income but it isn’t my dream. Sometimes you have to ask the right questions in order discover what you want.

Guess reading someone else’s blog helped me discover what I want. Now I guess I have to work towards making it happen. Its been hard. I’ve given up more times than I can count but I have to keep on trying. Not only for myself but for others who maybe thinking of giving up on their dreams. I hope to be that inspiration so that they never give up.

Advertisements

Is it back to the unemployment line?

Lately I’ve been stressed because I haven’t been called into work because there isn’t much work to do. So last week tuesday I received an email from my manager saying they will call me in when the work is ready for me to do. I’m kinda anxious because, my dad is asking me all these questions when I’m going back to work etc. I can tell his worried weather this job is gonna last which also made me start to worry about the same thing.

To be honest it feel good that I had some stability this last year because this month is exactly a year I’ve been working at this company. Also now that I’m working I feel a little more confident in myself. Because when I was unemployed there where times I would lie and tell people I’m working from home just so I wouldn’t feel ashamed. Also now that I’m working my parents are proud of me and have respect for me. I remember the dark days of having them look down on me thinking I’m useless and lazy. I don’t ever want to go back there.

Besides being employed helps around the house. In terms of my dreams I haven’t taken any actions because I’m comfortable where I’m at. Besides writing this post I’ve been so depressed since this weekend been in my room and bed all day. I was trying to be positive and its not easy when you not motivated. I guess I blame myself for no being more prepared. I knew this job wouldn’t last forever but some how I forgotten that along the line or my mind is just over reacting.

I’m only human?

Hey guys! I know its been a while. I’ve been sick with the flu. Stressing about work and frustrated with my dreams. After I got better from the flu a few days ago I began working on improving my design skills and I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself because I’m not improving overnight. This frustration is keeping me up at night. Also the moment I want to do something I feel uncomfortable and unable to find myself doing any task. I’m just there procrastinating.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not giving up but the process of getting better as a graphic design is harder than I imagined. Honestly how many times this week my mind tells me I can’t do this, no way I can design that. Its a constant mental battle day in and out.

Sometimes I find myself just wanting to go to bed early and waking up to the next day hoping that I’ve improved but when I go to bed I can’t sleep. All this stress is processing through my mind. Also with all the stress I’m having issues remembering stuff.

Sometimes I look at other people and get jealous that they can do things so easily, weather a job, studying. It comes natural to them. While I have to work 3 times as hard to barely reach their level. In my mind I just hate those bastards I’d say! But its just me being human! I know its no excuse.

I need to vent this! My struggle so people can relate. We only human right, we all go through things. This is just my situation. I love graphic design and I’ll keep at it but sometimes its just frustrating not getting the results you want as soon as you want it.

Finding the right path for me!

Hey everyone its me! Been sick with the flu for the last 2 weeks. That sucked but… Gave me time to think about what I really want in life. To be honest I wasn’t really sure what that was. All I know I want to be a graphic designer which I am, but wasn’t sure what was the possibilities of a graphic designer?

When I tell people I’m a graphic designer they always so negative. They say things like they are so many better graphic designers etc blah blah blah and how it won’t work. So I decided to go on youtube and look at videos of : ‘In the day of a graphic designer’. Guess what! I found what I was looking for. The possibilities 🙂 Dam I wanted that life. I’ve finally found the life I want to work towards.

So this video I found on youtube that inspired me was about a guy who eventually quit his job to go full time into freelance graphic design. His story inspired me. He didn’t care about the odds. He did what he loved and worked hard at it. He also shared tips and advices that inspired me to want to become a better graphic designer in terms of qualities of work.

So I finally figured out the type of graphic designer I want to be. Which I will share later on another post . Also thinking of starting a design blog so people get real life insight of a freelance graphic designer.

Ok I’ll end with this! I want to challenge you to find out what it is you want in life. Comment? Mail me. Hell facebook me If you must I want to know what you up to my readers 🙂

Overwhelming choices

Life isn’t so easy when you trying to aim for your dreams. Lately I’ve been overwhelmed and doubting myself. Why? Over 5 years ago I got into graphic design using free software ‘gimp and inkscape’ but as of lately I’ve been working in the print design industry and I have to use photoshop and illustrator. This means its like starting from scratch learning new software and how this industry works.

Its bad enough I have anxiety but now I can’t sleep. All I’m thinking about is when will I’ll been done learning this software. I’m anxious everyday. Its eating me up. I’ve even given thought to giving up on graphic design.

Sure I’m working now but my job might soon come to an end. Sure its a great job but I always wanted to be my own boss someday. Sure it sounds great in theory but its easier said than done. I still haven’t settled on a design for my own business cards. I haven’t had the courage yet to call or make any communication with any printing company that I might use in the future to print my clients designs.

It feels like a pipe dream, I’m 31 and Starting over in graphic design, Which makes me a beginner again. So do I even stand a chance? To start my own business. Its killing me all these choices. If only I had someone to talk to. Someone to help me in my field. That would be amazing but life isn’t that easy right. I don’t have the connections or the resources.

Do I give up or keep trying….! Guess we will see in time.

The feeling of doubt creeping in!

Lately apart from my job as a graphic designer. I wanted to slowly build my own client base and work from home. Be my own boss. I’ve already started putting things together. My website I’m working on, business cards etc. Recently one of these days this strange feeling just hit me. The reality of what I’m doing. This feeling of doubt came over me. Like? Are you really going to start your own business. Thoughts like no way you can do it.

Continue reading “The feeling of doubt creeping in!”

Almost ready to start my own design company

Hi sorry once again I’ve been so busy caught up with my job as a graphic designer. Been busy with a project for my boss but lately decided to work on side to build my own design company. I finally sorted my new email and now building the website.

Don’t get me wrong I love my job but I want to work for myself! Simply because I want more creative freedom. To create simple smart designs which also is my tagline for my business. Working for a company as a graphic designer is great. I learnt a lot but I feel I am restricted in terms of creative freedom.

So I won’t quite my job but I won’t stop building my business either. Its about to take off soon. I don’t consider myself an entrepreneur but in order to succeed I think I should! Life is short and we should live life the way we want but most of all challenge ourselves in order to live a fulfilled life. I’m glad I have the support from my family and friends.

Life is good and I feel so bless.