Tag Archives: friends

Last night movie primer

Last night was kinda a special night.  A friend of mine made a movie and had a premier for it. I went with him to show my support and I’m glad I did.  It was a great event. Red carpet,  photographers,  selfies with actors and actresses. The atmosphere was amazing. Oh and not to forget the free popcorn and coke.

Even though I had a fall out with this friend in the past due to personal issues. I’ve learnt to forgive and forget. To be honest I was a little jealous last night not of him but of him being brave enough to go for his dreams despite set back after set back. He persevered. It makes me also now not wanna give up.

I think my favorite part of the night was hanging out with beautiful actress. If only they where single I hoped.  Surprisingly I wasn’t shy.  I made small talk without being nervous. It was definitely a night to remember. My only regret is that I don’t have any photos to share.  As you know I love sharing my life with you guys my readers.


Human contact!

Hey its me sorry for the late post. Its been a hectic past 2 weeks with work and my birthday. Oh yeah I turned 32 on the 11th november. I don’t feel any older though. Work been crazy I think I pull off the impossible there meeting deadlines. Anyway lately I’ve been yearning for human contact! Ever since I been going for therapy and group therapy. I feel like I re integrated myself back into the real world. Because before my social anxiety was very bad and thanks to therapy. I feel more confidence being around people.

The problem now is? There isn’t any people around to socialise with or go out with. My friends are to busy with their own lives which I get. Also everything is instant messengers and social media when it comes to conversations with friends, so we don’t have to meet. That part sucks the most. Yes social media and IM+ where cool when they first came out. Now they just limit more human contact. This frustrates me and makes me feel lonely.

I can’t remember the last time I went out or saw a movie with friends or family. Mostly me and my friends download movies and series and just watch them but ourselves. Yes again life is starting to feel kinda lonely. I know most people would say get a girl friend but I don’t think one person gonna solve my yearning for socialising. Lucky though I have group therapy for the next 2 weeks. So hopefully things will get better from there.

Getting lonelier with age!

Today as I woke up listening to a song.  I became quite emotional.  Basically I started to feel lonely. As the days, months and years are going by I’m seeing friends and family less and lesser. I can’t describe this feeling of loneliness.  It makes me feel sick and empty at times.

I wish i could turn back time.  The days when life was less complicated. No responsibilities.  Just going out and having fun. Unfortunately we can’t go back to those days.  Friends have kids others getting engaged.  Their lives are busy.  I’m happy for them,  they my friend.  I just miss them.

As for family.  My brother can’t visit us his wife hates our family and won’t let him visit us.  My sister lives a bit far off so I see her at church or special occasions like birthdays etc.  Still even when we do get together the family!  We couldn’t be further apart.  Everyone’s on their phones chatting to someone else. That’s why I miss my dogs so much because when nobody was around they was always there for me.  Now that they gone I’m still heart broken over it.  What must I do life must go on. 

The worst part of my life I’m the single guy in bunch of friends.  Haven’t been in love since high school.  How lame is that.  I just think with age comes loneliness. Guess I was feeling more lonely that I realized writing this post.

My apologies I haven’t blogged in a while. Just been going through a lot of stuff lately. Anyway last night I attended a wedding function in my road and met alot of old friends from my school days.

Its seems I didn’t have much on common with them and ran out of things to say! Its true that my communication skills sucks but those where friends I used to spend time and talk for hours with. Now I cant even go 5 minutes without running out of things to say!

Maybe I out grown them but still I feel kinda bad that I couldn’t relate to them like I used to. Well now that im back! I will be blogging more frequently. Since many of my readers and bloggers have been there for me when my dogs had passed away and I thank you for you’ll condolences. Have a great weekend everyone.

Restricted posts

Firstly if you thinking this post title is about sex posts or anything related you figured wrong. Lately my blog posts I’ve been limiting and restricting the post about my family and myself. Its seems people who shouldn’t be reading my blog like certain neighbours or family members are stumbling upon my blog posts!

How they finding my blog I have no idea! Now the place I thought I was free to express my thoughts and be myself is no longer a safe heaven. I’m sure you noticed how little I’ve been blogging because I’m afraid to share what I’m really thinking, feeling and experience in my life because of who might read it.

Maybe this restriction will help me become a better writer. Who knows but I still make many typo’s mistakes. Still I love to blog regardless of good or bad posts.

Should I get a #girlfriend only to satisfy #sexual urges!

The past weekend after meeting up with friends. We was discussing how we was getting old and how some of us are still single and may need to settle down. My one friend said yeah we have to get a girlfriends now because we getting old and can’t control our sexual urges forever. At the time I thought what non sense.

Later that week when feeling kinda turned on and aroused. That thought of what my friend said popped in my head making me think maybe his right. Cause a guy getting aroused can be a lot to bare and masturbation guys don’t like to resort to unless truly desperate.

I mean guys will never admit it among friends even if they do masturbate. Maybe out of pride or embarrassment. Still having a girl friend would make it easier but the problem is! We also have values as christians, not to have sex before marriage. Unfortunately i did break those values and made wrong choices.

Its true my urges get the better of me sometimes. The questions I’m struggling with now is what do I do about it. If I resort to masturbation that leaves me lonely and dissatisfied and wanting more. If I had a girlfriend I’d have someone I’m happy with and could have sex with to. Hopefully it wouldn’t feel like I’m using her for sex only. Cause I just want a relationship that includes sex. Don’t judge me I’m just sharing my thoughts that’s all.

I’m sure if any of my friends read this might rip and laugh about it. Hell I’ll laugh with them about it, but its a topic that needed to be spoken about. Still finding that right girl might take while.

After an epic weekend back to reality

Hi happy new years everyone.

Waking up to monday is like waking up from an amazing dream you wished never ended. Now that today has come I feel the stress of reality thinking about looking for a job or getting clients for my freelance graphic design.

I felt like heaven this weekend. Going to the pool, having a braai, going to the cinema and just spending time with my friends. Its like nothing else mattered in that moment. No stress, no problems. Today I wake up and the weekend feels like it was a fantasy like something I just dreamt. Maybe its just me over reacting but life scares me cause I have anxiety which leds me to blow things out of proportion.

Also I’m thinking to much about what I’m gonna do, instead of just doing it. All advice is welcome. Just avoiding stress in the mean time while figure things out I guess.

Sitting outside the whore house while friends have pleasure!

Today was just another afternoon until some friends decided to visit. We had a little chit chat and then decided to go have some coffee, which led to having something to eat. So while eating we started talking and sex some how became the topic of conversation.

One of friends started talking about the good times he had a whore house and suggested we go there. I was against it and wanted to go home but they was my transport home so I had no choice but to go for the ride.

Right now I’m sitting in the car while my 2 friends gone inside the whore to have sex with prostitutes. I’m bored sitting and wait for them to finish have their pleasure so I didn’t have anything else to do so I wrote this post while I was waiting.

I’m not into the sex with prostitutes. I often get teased for waiting for the right girl to have sex with but it is my choice in the end. Still sitting here and cars came and went. My friends still inside. Didn’t think I’d find myself sitting outside a whore house slash brothel on a thursday night. It certainly been interesting but I just wanna go home and sleep in my own bed. I’m so tired and bored out of my mind here waiting.

Are you ready? for 2014

Hello bloggers, friends and family. Christmas and New years is around the corner. So much to do also not to mention the christmas shopping. We get so caught up in the moment and before you know it, its a new year.

I’m still not sure though if I’m ready for 2014 just yet. I have so many lose ends of my life to tie up. Like getting right with god. Getting help for my anxiety. I’m only human I’m sure many of you still have some uncompleted goals.

Despite my disappointments this year I plan on doing things right for 2014. I wanna be confident, bolder, and embrace a new opportunities with an I can attitude. Cause I’ve always been timid, shy and antisocial to new experiences.

2014 will be my year of success. My dreams will come true. I speak these things in faith right now. I’m hoping for the best. I wish every reader, commenter, friend and family the best for 2014 cause I’m hoping for great things.