Believe in me!

Believe in me!

Hi I’m not sure if you ever watched one of those movies where! The parent tells their son of daughter. You can do anything I believe you can do it and I’ll support you in whatever you decide. Unfortunately in my case reality isn’t the same. I want to work hard and focus on becoming a successful graphic designer but to them it’s not important. When ever I’m designing anything I’m disturbed like a hundred times for little things. I loose my focus cause of my anxiety and it’s not easy to pick up where I left off. So I become so drained and stop designing.

Wish they would take my dreams seriously and my anxiety. Sometimes I feel so judged mentally wondering what they think of me and sometimes my anxiety exaggerates things. Support would mean the world but life isn’t like those movies. Honestly I’d give anything to have someone believe in me and constantly be there to encourage me. Guess I’m being selfish wanting a movie moment.

Don’t get me wrong my parents love me just that Hey have an old mentally because of their own up bringing. I love my parents to and wish the relationship could change to supportiveness instead of get any job and that’s life.

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My graphic design dream

My graphic design dream

Hey its me and been thinking about the choices I’ve made and I remembered having a dream of becoming a successful graphic designer but by using free software. Sounds ridiculous right. I gave up on that dream some time ago and started to learn and use industry software and even though I know how to use industry design software well. I haven’t really improved as a designer.  I wonder about why that is I guess.

So not long a go i found a guy online living the dream I dreamt of.  He is using the free software I used to use and his successful and has an impressive portfolio. I was both jealous and inspired by him. This made me rethink what I was doing and maybe I should go back to the dream I had because I haven’t really improved using premium industry software.

Also I wanna make money by making a lot of stock graphics, because dealing with actual clients is a bit much for me cause of my anxiety disorder. Hey these are just thoughts I’m letting out. Whose knows if i will really continue with my original dream I’ve had. Anyway wish me luck just had to say what I was thinking.

My Ideal life :)

My Ideal life :)

Today I was reading a post from a blog I follow. The post mentioned what is the ideal life you want to live! The truth is! I’ve been so caught up in my own world of ‘anxiety and depression’ that I stopped thinking about the life I wanted!

So I took sometime to think about it and it wasn’t to hard to figure out. The life I want is to be a creative graphic designer. Meeting clients at coffee shops. Going to fancy offices having brain storming ideas with other creatives. Working out of a coffee shop with a laptop at times. Just having freedom of a life as graphic designer.

Yes there are ways of making money with graphic design online with stock graphics. For now I’ll do it cause I need the income but it isn’t my dream. Sometimes you have to ask the right questions in order discover what you want.

Guess reading someone else’s blog helped me discover what I want. Now I guess I have to work towards making it happen. Its been hard. I’ve given up more times than I can count but I have to keep on trying. Not only for myself but for others who maybe thinking of giving up on their dreams. I hope to be that inspiration so that they never give up.

I’m only human?

I’m only human?

Hey guys! I know its been a while. I’ve been sick with the flu. Stressing about work and frustrated with my dreams. After I got better from the flu a few days ago I began working on improving my design skills and I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself because I’m not improving overnight. This frustration is keeping me up at night. Also the moment I want to do something I feel uncomfortable and unable to find myself doing any task. I’m just there procrastinating.

Don’t get me wrong I’m not giving up but the process of getting better as a graphic design is harder than I imagined. Honestly how many times this week my mind tells me I can’t do this, no way I can design that. Its a constant mental battle day in and out.

Sometimes I find myself just wanting to go to bed early and waking up to the next day hoping that I’ve improved but when I go to bed I can’t sleep. All this stress is processing through my mind. Also with all the stress I’m having issues remembering stuff.

Sometimes I look at other people and get jealous that they can do things so easily, weather a job, studying. It comes natural to them. While I have to work 3 times as hard to barely reach their level. In my mind I just hate those bastards I’d say! But its just me being human! I know its no excuse.

I need to vent this! My struggle so people can relate. We only human right, we all go through things. This is just my situation. I love graphic design and I’ll keep at it but sometimes its just frustrating not getting the results you want as soon as you want it.

Finding the right path for me!

Finding the right path for me!

Hey everyone its me! Been sick with the flu for the last 2 weeks. That sucked but… Gave me time to think about what I really want in life. To be honest I wasn’t really sure what that was. All I know I want to be a graphic designer which I am, but wasn’t sure what was the possibilities of a graphic designer?

When I tell people I’m a graphic designer they always so negative. They say things like they are so many better graphic designers etc blah blah blah and how it won’t work. So I decided to go on youtube and look at videos of : ‘In the day of a graphic designer’. Guess what! I found what I was looking for. The possibilities 🙂 Dam I wanted that life. I’ve finally found the life I want to work towards.

So this video I found on youtube that inspired me was about a guy who eventually quit his job to go full time into freelance graphic design. His story inspired me. He didn’t care about the odds. He did what he loved and worked hard at it. He also shared tips and advices that inspired me to want to become a better graphic designer in terms of qualities of work.

So I finally figured out the type of graphic designer I want to be. Which I will share later on another post . Also thinking of starting a design blog so people get real life insight of a freelance graphic designer.

Ok I’ll end with this! I want to challenge you to find out what it is you want in life. Comment? Mail me. Hell facebook me If you must I want to know what you up to my readers 🙂

The feeling of doubt creeping in!

The feeling of doubt creeping in!

Lately apart from my job as a graphic designer. I wanted to slowly build my own client base and work from home. Be my own boss. I’ve already started putting things together. My website I’m working on, business cards etc. Recently one of these days this strange feeling just hit me. The reality of what I’m doing. This feeling of doubt came over me. Like? Are you really going to start your own business. Thoughts like no way you can do it.

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Almost ready to start my own design company

Almost ready to start my own design company

Hi sorry once again I’ve been so busy caught up with my job as a graphic designer. Been busy with a project for my boss but lately decided to work on side to build my own design company. I finally sorted my new email and now building the website.

Don’t get me wrong I love my job but I want to work for myself! Simply because I want more creative freedom. To create simple smart designs which also is my tagline for my business. Working for a company as a graphic designer is great. I learnt a lot but I feel I am restricted in terms of creative freedom.

So I won’t quite my job but I won’t stop building my business either. Its about to take off soon. I don’t consider myself an entrepreneur but in order to succeed I think I should! Life is short and we should live life the way we want but most of all challenge ourselves in order to live a fulfilled life. I’m glad I have the support from my family and friends.

Life is good and I feel so bless.