Human contact!

Hey its me sorry for the late post. Its been a hectic past 2 weeks with work and my birthday. Oh yeah I turned 32 on the 11th november. I don’t feel any older though. Work been crazy I think I pull off the impossible there meeting deadlines. Anyway lately I’ve been yearning for human contact! Ever since I been going for therapy and group therapy. I feel like I re integrated myself back into the real world. Because before my social anxiety was very bad and thanks to therapy. I feel more confidence being around people.

The problem now is? There isn’t any people around to socialise with or go out with. My friends are to busy with their own lives which I get. Also everything is instant messengers and social media when it comes to conversations with friends, so we don’t have to meet. That part sucks the most. Yes social media and IM+ where cool when they first came out. Now they just limit more human contact. This frustrates me and makes me feel lonely.

I can’t remember the last time I went out or saw a movie with friends or family. Mostly me and my friends download movies and series and just watch them but ourselves. Yes again life is starting to feel kinda lonely. I know most people would say get a girl friend but I don’t think one person gonna solve my yearning for socialising. Lucky though I have group therapy for the next 2 weeks. So hopefully things will get better from there.

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Group therapy was a different experience

Today was a new experience for me.  It’s only been 3 session now that I’m seeing a psychologist. This week Tuesday I saw my psychologist, he recommended I try group therapy because It will help me get out of my shell and improve some self confidence.  So I signed up.  Today was our first session.

In truth I was so anxious the whole day before my group session.  Felt like I wanted to puke.  Also wondering who are these people.  What are they gonna think of me.  What if I make a fool of myself.  But later on I did learn that it was a safe space so even if I did make a fool of myself.  Everyone there is there to support and point me in the right direction.

Of course it wasn’t a regular group session. The theme was the here and now. We all in the group had to choose a goal that we would be witness to improvements of each others goals.  My goal is to speak with confidence and have a more of a confident presence.  Why? cause when it was my turn to talk.  I froze words wouldn’t even come out of my mouth.  I had to take a second to breathe deeply and dig deep to find any words I could. To say what I meant.  Which didn’t go well at first because I stuttered at first but eventually managed saying my piece.

It was nice though to connect with people in a similar situation.  I met amazing people today who just need a little help like myself in life.  I was glad to go through today’s experience.  As hard as it was facing my issues with a bunch of strangers.  Looking forward to next week’s session.