Lately I find myself to have a best friend called jackie! She’s a dog, breed: jack russel. Cute brown and white dog and so small that you can easily carry her. She’s not my dog but my opposite neighbours. She’s in and out my house most of the time with a small hole in the fence she made. I honestly don’t mind either do my parents. They have also taken a liking to her.
Anyway as for my blog title. Well guess I lately I don’t see my friend as much as I’d like. I understand some of them are busy with work and wives or girl friends and other don’t even reply to a text which is frustrating. This has left me feeling kinda alone.
When I had my own dogs they used to keep me so busy. I still miss them. They where my best friends even back then. Now that they gone and no friends in sight. I’m grateful my neighbours dog “jackie” visits so often. She helps make time go by. She’s not your ordinary jack russel. Honestly she can play and play and won’t be tired but I’d be completely drained. I had to make toys for her since she likes to bite things. Like my mom’s duster, my sandals, one old rope etc.
Jackie has become a part of my life and my family now. In fact she loves my dad more than anyone. I’m just kinda afraid I don’t have to go through such a loss like I did with my own dogs. I barely recovered from that. I know I have a lot of love to give even if she isn’t my dog.
This has been a stressful week for me because my dog ‘Brandy’ is very sick. Not to long ago ,last year august 2014 I lost my other dog ‘king’ which was ‘Brandy’s’ son. King’s death broke me and drove me to take antidepressants.
Now im so stressed because we took Brandy to the vet and they gave her meds and she still not eating and was spewing. Im scared that the meds might not be working. I cant deal with the loss of yet another dog. Im scare. Sad. Wishing, hoping and praying she will get better.
My dogs has made my life so much better, when I was lonely and friends where busy I always had my dogs. But I am praying she gets better but if things turn for the worst I pray God will take her peacefully and not let her suffer.
What can I do but pray now! I love her. Only a real pet lover would understand this. I had to write down how I feel because this is eating me inside.
This week has been most devastating to me and my family. This week tuesday I had to put off my dog ‘King’ due to him having kidney failure. Grieving is difficult. Feeling guilty, regret and depression sinks in.
That tuesday and wednesday I could not comprehend or believe that he is gone. I was in denial. Thursday I guess it finally sunk in that he is gone and never coming back. My family has taken this very hard as well. I’m trying to be strong for them and my other dog who is in fact who is kings mother.
Still it isn’t easy I barely ate since my dog “Kings” death. Sometimes I feel ok and at peace knowing he was happy and that he made me happy. Others times I feel devastated wishing and longing he was here with me. To play with him. To throw the ball for him. Play catch.
I’ve been to some online support groups regarding a loss of a pet, and they say pretty much the same thing. That we feel guilty. I mean I wish I spotted his sickness earlier maybe I could of saved him and he would still be here with me today. That kind of guilt! Its hard to ignore. Despite the support groups saying that we should not feel guilty, but we do.
Yesterday I woke up so late. Spent half the day in bed because I just couldn’t wake up and face the day. I’m still grieving even today but it isn’t as bad as earlier this week. Still it made me aware that life is pointless. Why live when you just gonna lose everything. Money can’t buy the thing you want the most. It can’t give you time back.
I’ve had a lot of support from my friends when my dog died. They understood how much I love my dog. That they are my family. That I would even put my dogs first before my friends. I’m not done grieving but I have a little peace knowing my dog was happy.
Looking at my dog’s photos sometimes gives me comfort. I’ve cried so much that I don’t know if I have any more tears to shed. I wouldn’t wish this pain on any pet owner. Love your pets and make time for them is my advice to all pet owners.
I just had to right down this and express how I feel.
Its been a few days now since I notice my dog “king” was feeling extremely hot and noticed sores appear on his face. Its a skin disorder called hot spots. This usually happens every spring and summer but never this bad. Normally if you cut the hair around the sore it dries up and heal. It did heal for a bit until new sores appears on the other side of his face. I’m feeling so sorry for him because his not behaving like his usual self.
I couldn’t take it anymore and had to go see my veterinarian. My veterinarian is a cool guy and most of the trips there are worth it because his wife is the reception. Why that is important is! His wife is young and beautiful like a model. The service is great and his wife is flirtatious in a conversational way.
Anyway my veterinarian gave me some strong medication which I had given my dog in past to heal his sores (hot spots). I’m sure he will get better now. I feel a little less stressed now that i have my dog’s medication. Come to think of it I had a panic attack worrying about him yesterday. You know I love my dogs a lot. I’ve made many sacrifices for them because they more than just dogs to me, they family.
Today I realise that my pets are more then just my dogs but my closest friends. I have 2 amazing rhodesian ridgeback cross breed dogs. Their names are Brandy and King. I know the 1st thing I do ,when I wake up in the morning is to see where my dogs are and how they doing. The thing I treasure the most about my dogs is that they are loyal and always there for me and great listeners to. I’m sure my niece would agree that we can’t live without them.
People don’t realise how much their pets do care about them. I know when I go anywhere without a doubt my dogs are waiting 4 me. They bark and will never let me go inside the house without playing with them and giving them attention, because they excited to see me. When I’m lonely I know I can count on my dogs to keep me company and cheer me up. I usually play fetch with them to pass the time or talk to them. When no one is around, they all I have. I guess I need them more then they need me.
#These are original photos I taken with my mobile phone. Sharing the moments and good times together.