Human contact!

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Hey its me sorry for the late post. Its been a hectic past 2 weeks with work and my birthday. Oh yeah I turned 32 on the 11th november. I don’t feel any older though. Work been crazy I think I pull off the impossible there meeting deadlines. Anyway lately I’ve been yearning for human contact! Ever since I been going for therapy and group therapy. I feel like I re integrated myself back into the real world. Because before my social anxiety was very bad and thanks to therapy. I feel more confidence being around people.

The problem now is? There isn’t any people around to socialise with or go out with. My friends are to busy with their own lives which I get. Also everything is instant messengers and social media when it comes to conversations with friends, so we don’t have to meet. That part sucks the most. Yes social media and IM+ where cool when they first came out. Now they just limit more human contact. This frustrates me and makes me feel lonely.

I can’t remember the last time I went out or saw a movie with friends or family. Mostly me and my friends download movies and series and just watch them but ourselves. Yes again life is starting to feel kinda lonely. I know most people would say get a girl friend but I don’t think one person gonna solve my yearning for socialising. Lucky though I have group therapy for the next 2 weeks. So hopefully things will get better from there.

Getting lonelier with age!

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Today as I woke up listening to a song.  I became quite emotional.  Basically I started to feel lonely. As the days, months and years are going by I’m seeing friends and family less and lesser. I can’t describe this feeling of loneliness.  It makes me feel sick and empty at times.

I wish i could turn back time.  The days when life was less complicated. No responsibilities.  Just going out and having fun. Unfortunately we can’t go back to those days.  Friends have kids others getting engaged.  Their lives are busy.  I’m happy for them,  they my friend.  I just miss them.

As for family.  My brother can’t visit us his wife hates our family and won’t let him visit us.  My sister lives a bit far off so I see her at church or special occasions like birthdays etc.  Still even when we do get together the family!  We couldn’t be further apart.  Everyone’s on their phones chatting to someone else. That’s why I miss my dogs so much because when nobody was around they was always there for me.  Now that they gone I’m still heart broken over it.  What must I do life must go on. 

The worst part of my life I’m the single guy in bunch of friends.  Haven’t been in love since high school.  How lame is that.  I just think with age comes loneliness. Guess I was feeling more lonely that I realized writing this post.

Im jealous of my neighbors new puppy

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just yesterday after eating supper putting my dishes in the sink. From the kitchen window I can see in my neighbors yard. I see something small and brown running around. It was a puppy. They had just gotten it. I couldn’t contain myself I went in my backyard and spoke to my neighbor asked them to show me the puppy. I played with it and my neighbor even let me borrow her to go show my mum.

It was the cutest Boerboel crossed with a Pitbull pup I ever seen. I was sad to give the pup back because I remember that excitement they are feeling, having a dog for the first time. All you want to do is play with your dog all the time.

Well to be honest I’ve been kinda lonely since my dogs passed away. Yeah I’ve thought of getting another dog but I feel like its wrong or its a betrayal to the dogs I’ve had if I get another one. Besides my dogs could never be replaced. Also I dont want to go through losing another dog it was painful enough the first two times.

Now all I can do just admire my neighbors dog with jealous lol.

To much celebration and death for this last weekend

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Hi and welcome back from the weekend. Is been a hectic weekend for me attended a wedding function and got news of 2 deaths.1 from our church and the other is family.

To be honest I enjoyed the wedding because I feels like forever since I’ve been out and celebrated something. Then I got the news last night that a member from our church had committed suicide and hung himself. People are asking the question why? He did what he did. To be honest I can relate to him because Ive been there being suicidal but recently gotten help. Still its sad that this young man took his own life. Because I knew him as this happy guy.

So this morning we get another phone call ,someone in our family has passed away. This really sucks. Bad news after bad news.

All this death makes you think that we should appreciate life and our family. To be honest my family is so divided that only when it comes to functions or funerals that we get to see each other.

hopefully these tragedies will help bring our families closer. If only life was that simple. Still life goes on and hope to make the best of mine this 2015.

My people skills suck!

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My apologies I haven’t blogged in a while. Just been going through a lot of stuff lately. Anyway last night I attended a wedding function in my road and met alot of old friends from my school days.

Its seems I didn’t have much on common with them and ran out of things to say! Its true that my communication skills sucks but those where friends I used to spend time and talk for hours with. Now I cant even go 5 minutes without running out of things to say!

Maybe I out grown them but still I feel kinda bad that I couldn’t relate to them like I used to. Well now that im back! I will be blogging more frequently. Since many of my readers and bloggers have been there for me when my dogs had passed away and I thank you for you’ll condolences. Have a great weekend everyone.

New Neighbors

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Today my neighbors are moving out. I know this should’nt effect me but it does. We lived with them for about 13 years. Now new neighbors have just moved in! Today! Who are practically strangers. Are they good people? Are they psycholopaths! I hope not.

I hate to say this but I miss my old neighbors. Only now that they gone I realize how much like family neighbors really are. When they would go on holiday they would trust me to feed thier dogs.

Guess we all have to adjust to change. Its part of life. As for my new neighbors not sure if il ever have the same relationship with my new neighbors like I did with my old ones.

I am also kinda of disappointed because it would at least been nice if my new neighbors had hot daughters, but they dont! That said life goes on. Just have to accept having new neighbors and make my peace with it.

Are you ready? for 2014

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Hello bloggers, friends and family. Christmas and New years is around the corner. So much to do also not to mention the christmas shopping. We get so caught up in the moment and before you know it, its a new year.

I’m still not sure though if I’m ready for 2014 just yet. I have so many lose ends of my life to tie up. Like getting right with god. Getting help for my anxiety. I’m only human I’m sure many of you still have some uncompleted goals.

Despite my disappointments this year I plan on doing things right for 2014. I wanna be confident, bolder, and embrace a new opportunities with an I can attitude. Cause I’ve always been timid, shy and antisocial to new experiences.

2014 will be my year of success. My dreams will come true. I speak these things in faith right now. I’m hoping for the best. I wish every reader, commenter, friend and family the best for 2014 cause I’m hoping for great things.